Monday, December 05, 2005

Smart Ass!




A woman decides to have a face-lift, for her birthday. She spends $5000,
and feels pretty good about the results.

On her way home, she stops at a newsstand to buy a newspaper. Before
leaving she says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but

how old do you think I am?" "About 32," is the reply. "Nope! I'm exactly
47," the woman says happily.

A little while later, she goes into McDonald's, and asks the counter girl,
the very same question. The girl replies, "I guess about 29." The woman
replies, "Nope, I'm 47."


Now she's feeling really good, about herself She stops in drugstore, on her
way down the street. She! goes up to the counter, to get some mints, and
asks the clerk, this burning question. The
clerk responds, "Oh, I'd say 30. Again she proudly responds, "I am 47, but
thank you."

While waiting, for the bus to go home, she asks an old man, waiting next to
her, the same question. He replies, "Lady, I'm 78, and my eye sight is
going. Although, when I was young, there was a sure way, to tell how old a
woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you, to let me, put my
hands under your bra. Then I can tell you EXACTLY how old you are."


They wait in silence on the empty street, until curiosity gets the best of
her. She finally blurts out, "What the heck, go ahead." He slips both of
his hands, she says, "Okay, okay,...how old am I?" He removes his hands and
says, "Madam, you are 47.

Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "Why, that's incredible, how could you
tell? "The old
man replies, "Promise you won't hit me?" "I promise I won't." she says. He
replies, "I was behind you in line at McDonald's."

If Prince Charles Decided to Re-marry...




Year 1981:
1. Prince Charles got married
2. Liverpool crowned Champions of Europe
3. Australia lost the Ashes
4. Pope Died

Year 2005:
1. Prince Charles got married
2. Liverpool crowned Champions of Europe
3. Australia lost the Ashes
4. Pope Died

In future, if Prince Charles decides to re-marry .... Please warn the Pope!!